My Father’s Day piece at the Federalist is a meditation on the contributions of fathers to the labor of their households. You can read it here: “Rather than Judging Fathers’ Household Labor, Let’s Appreciate It.”
One of the recent feminist complaints is that men should contribute more to housework — as in laundry, dishes, and child care. Rarely do we hear anything about “gender equity” when it comes to the sort of household labor that is traditionally masculine. But Dads who take on projects to add sweat equity contribute a lot to their families, though those things are little noted in the culture. When I think of all my husband has done to promote the little homestead, I’m grateful. And I’ve always preferred doing the housework if it frees him up for such big ticket projects.
And when I think back on my own father who actually did a lot of housework, grocery shopping, and caregiving, I am very grateful for all he contributed both as a breadwinner and on the homefront. He was an amazing man who had a hard life. But he always appreciated his blessings, especially his family. He was cheerful,, and truly a delight to be around. Remarkable. In my Federalist piece, I reflect on the many things he did for his family, quietly and without complaint.
I think trying to keep score in household chores is a lose-lose situation in any relationship, assuming both are contributing according to their gifts. Fathers in particular should be more appreciated for their efforts, whether the labor is “gendered” or not. Everyone has something to offer, and it’s up to the team to work out a system without fixating on 50-50.
On this Father’s Day, let’s appreciate the devotion of fathers and their unique gifts, whatever they might be.
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